Category Archives: Lifestyle

10 USEFUL SECRETS ON KEEPING A HAPPY HOME

Secret 1

Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse’s weakness you can’t get the best out of his strength.

Secret 2

Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone’s past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future.

Secret 3

Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow “For better for worse”. In sickness and in health be there.

Secret 4

Every marriage has different levels of success. Don’t compare your marriage with any one else. We can never be equal. Some will be far, some behind. To avoid marriage stress, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true.

Secret 5

To get married is declaring war. When you get married you must declare war against enemies of marriage. Some enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Third party influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack of love, Rudeness, Laziness, Disrespect and Cheating.

Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

Secret 6

There is no perfect marriage. There is no ready made marriage. Marriage is hard work. Volunteer yourself to work daily on it. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owner to danger or some unhealthy circumstances. Let us not be careless about our marriages. 

Secret 7

God cannot give you a complete person you desire. He gives you the person in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould the person that you desire. This can only be achieved through prayer, love and Patience.

Secret 8

Getting married is taking a huge risk. You can not predict what will happen in the future. Situations may change so leave room for adjustments. Husband can lose his good job or the babies may not come on time. All these require you to be prayerful otherwise you might divorce.

Secret 9

Marriage is not a contract. It is permanent. It needs total commitment. Love is the glue that sticks the couple together. Divorce starts in the mind and the devil feeds the mind. Never ever entertain thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married. God hates divorce.

Secret 10

Every marriage has a price to pay. Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money that you deposit that you withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate for a blissful home.

JAGUAR: ONE OF KENYA’S RICHEST MUSICIANS

Charles Njagua Kanyi also known as Jaguar is one of the stories that inspire Kenyans. He rose from zero to hero, the singer is now the second richest musician in Kenya. The Kigeugeu singer is also an entrepreneur with a portfolio that consists of a taxi firm, security company, auto garage and real estate. He is also the owner of a Ksh20 million ($194,175) house.

During popular events, especially political rallies, the singer makes Ksh1 million ($9,709) per performance. Jaguar also owns a Range Rover Sport, Bentley, Mercedes Benz E240 and Lexus GL 450. His accounts and assets sum up to Ksh350 million ($3.4 million) that’s what describes Jaguar in regards to wealth in Kenya.

Jaguar-Kenya

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Jaguar first made forays as a recording artiste in 2004 where he recorded and released his first Single. He later joined East Africa’s music Power house Ogopa Deejays in 2005 where he recorded and released several singles among them his most popular hit single “kigeugeu.” In 2013 Jaguar began recording with Main Switch Studios Founded by one of Jaguar’s long serving producers – Philip Makanda formerly from Ogopa Deejays.

This transition didn’t come short of any releases and he has been a part of the stable to date. He has since recorded several hit Singles including Kipepeo, Kioo and One centimeter, An African collaboration featuring Popular Nigerian Artiste Iyanya other songs by Jaguar include: Huu Mwaka, Barua Kwa Rais Feat Sudi Boy, My Dream feat. Vivianne, One Centimeter, Take it slow feat Zikki among others.

Jaguar's Car

Jaguar has also won numerous awards which include: 2011 – East Africa Music Awards – Best Male East Africa, 2011 – Nzumari Awards – Best Male Kenya, 2012 – Kisima Awards – Best Song Kenya, 2012 – Pearl Music Awards (Uganda) – Best male Artist, 2012 – Kilimanjaro Music Awards (Tanzania) – Best Song East Africa – Kigeugeu, 2012 – Nzumari Awards – Best Male Artiste East Africa, 2012 – Channel O Music Video Awards Nomination (Africa) Best Song East Africa, 2013 – MCSK Awards highest Earner in Royalties and most played artiste. 5 Awards from Various Kenyan Radio Stations, 2014 – Kilimanajro Music Awards East Africa – Best Song – kipepe, 2014 – AFRIMMA Awards (Dallas Texas) – Nomination best Male Africa.

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THE EYEGLASS FOR YOUR PERSONALITY & LIFESTYLE

Book Nerd

Choosing the eyeglass that suits your personality and lifestyle is not easy, especially when you are confronted with a vast selection from which to choose. Trust me you certainly would not get your feet in time in making your choice. Glasses are a focal point, being one of the first things noticed about you. People generally recognize you by your face, the eyeglasses you choose to wear make a very real part of your identity, so it is important to choose eyeglasses that flatter you and are consistent with the image you want to portray.

Sports Man

Whether you want to appear sophisticated, fun-loving, youthful, conservative, style conscious or even if you wear prescription glasses, the right eyewear can help you shape how you are perceived. And if you choose to wear only a pair of glasses for everything you do, that says something about you also. If you wear prescription glasses every day, you should consider investing in more than one pair. The reason being, just as dress shoes are wrong for the gym, your everyday glasses may be the wrong choice for sports and active wear.

Busy Eyes

A number of factors should be put into consideration while choosing the eyeglass to wear. Two or more of these should be taken into account:

Prescription

These glasses may require a minimum or maximum frame depth or thickness, placing limitations on frames that would ordinarily be suitable. You should check with your optician before you start your selection process.

Face Shape

It is said that the ideal face shape is oval – but which isn’t ideal? Anyway, eyeglasses should balance your face shape. If you have a pear like or triangular shape of face, choose a frame that is as wide as your jaw line.

Creative Person

Facial Features

When you choose an eyeglass that repeats an element within your face, you emphasise that feature and make it more prominent. The idea here is to reflect the features we wish to accentuate and not repeat feature we intend to minimize.

What is required here is to know your dominant facial characteristics and their attributes. Consider your features – side of face, jaw line, hair line, eyes, eyebrows, nose (sides and tip) and mouth while resting or smiling. Consider whether your face is made up of more curves than angles or vice versa? Are your features evenly placed in your face? Are your features large or small.

Senior

Work out the facial feature or features you want to reinforce and repeat it in the same scale and proportions in your glasses. For instance, if you want to emphasise a square jaw and angles in your face, choose a frame with square corners.  To emphasise a rounded jaw line, almond eyes, and a similarly shaped mouth, choose a frame with a similar shape.

A Few Keys to work with

  1. To minimize a large nose, choose a wider low set bridge
  2. To make a square or round face appear longer, make sure the frames are as wide as the face and choose frames that are narrower than they are wide.
  3. To make an oblong or rectangular face appear shorter, choose frame that have depth and wide arms
  4. To make close set eyes appear further apart, choose eyeglasses that the bridge isn’t emphasized; that is eyeglasses that have thin bridge or a light colour

Mum & Dad

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EFIA, MOVING TO THE TOP

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Efia Odo, the Ghanian Actress who is popular with issues surrounding her not wearing bra and acting nude if the pay is huge is appreciated by her fans for her beauty and curves. She has found for herself a new hobby which is hawking. Yes, hawking! Miss Odo loves to hawk in her spare time and seems to be getting more popularity with this.

Like her or hate her, Miss Odo is working her way up the ladder  perhaps in a bizarre manner, but she is definitely going up. Hard work pays!

 

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SOUTH AFRICA WITH HIGHEST NUMBER OF CHEATING HUSBANDS

South African married men are leaders in cheating according to a South African based American researcher Magan Michaels. According to Michaels, she interviewed 10,000 married men in 30 African countries and 70% confirmed they have extra marital affairs.
In South Africa she interviewed 1,200 and 1,170 (97.5%) responded yes to the question of cheating. South Africa is closely followed by Nigeria which has an 88% cheating rate and Zambia with 87.6% according to the research.

The countries with least cheating husbands are Egypt, Morocco and Libya. All of them have less than 50% cheating rate. Most of the respondents in South Africa said they cheat because of lack of intimacy in their marriages. The second factor that leads to cheating according to them is the lack of self-control from the cheaters.

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR HUSBAND’S GIRLFRIEND

It could be emotionally devastating to discover that your husband is having extramarital affairs with another woman. It is also natural for the wife to want to confront the other woman whether out of anger, vendetta, curiosity or the psychological need to let out some verbalized frustration. Suffice to say that the cheating spouse, which in this case is the husband, is the one who betrayed the union by breaking his commitment and he should be held accountable for his actions. At the same time it is expedient to say that the girlfriend is an equal partaker in this deceit and should also be held accountable for her ignoble role.

Incidentally, while confronting her may go a long way to provide some temporary respite, it will not in any way resolve the problem permanently. The way the girlfriend will respond during the confrontation may be diametrically different from her demeanour after she had had ample time to sit back and reflect on what was said to her during the verbal vents. Most girlfriends confronted by their boyfriend’s spouses will initially be defensive; but their defensive attitude will lapse into a much more sober mood when the rantings and ravings have long elapsed.

Exposing your husband’s mistress or confronting her is capable of producing either of two outcomes. In most cases it would create a wedge between her and your husband. But it could also backfire and bring your cheating husband and the other woman closer together.

In an extreme scenario where your husband’s side kick is related with you somehow either as a friend, or as a family member, then confronting her is a cardinal imperative. This is because, like your husband, she has betrayed and violated your trust. But if the intruder is a total stranger, confronting her might be a total waste of your time, and heartfelt emotions. If you’re not careful in such cases, she may either temporarily or permanently gain the upper hand during your confrontation by uttering some nasty things that may make you angrier or feel inadequate and insecure. Most importantly you might not be able to foreclose the unthinkable happenstance of everything leading to a physical confrontation. A physical confrontation is something you don’t want to have with a total stranger who is also an intruder who probably already knows about you.

Before you confront the betraying stranger, relation or friend about the affair make sure you have the facts. A cheating husband may attempt to cover his guilt and build his defense around passing the blame to the intruder by presenting her as the one who orchestrated the whole affair. Yes, the first instinct is for most men to pass the buck to the girlfriend even when they lied to her, from the onset, about their marital status and availability.

As a woman who is at the receiving end in this scenario, you have every reason to be crossed with both your man and the intruder, but you have to put your emotions in check and everything in the right perspective. You major grouse should be with your husband. It is annoying enough that the other intruding woman had a canal dalliance with your husband, but it is even more deplorable that you husband broke his marital vows to seek outside intimacy. In other words, the intruder had access to him because he made it possible. In many cases, If it were not this particular woman, it would be another one.

To bring things to a resolvable closure, you must ascertain if the affair was a one off thing, which your husband regrets or if his infidelity is an incurable calculated pattern of behaviour. Calmly and maturely discuss the issue with your husband to ascertain whether he is honestly ready to make amends and put a stop to his philandering ways. If he has the genuine disposition to change for the better, then the chances are that your marriage can be salvaged and protected from future intrusion.

As part of his commitment to change, he may need to go through the needed therapy and counseling and most importantly he must completely end all existing links with the other woman. The only effective way to ensure a workable marital recovery is for him to end further sexual intercourse, personal contact, phone calls, e-mail, social media chats, and tea breaks with the intruder. If he adamantly refuses to cut all ties, then it will be almost impossible to restore trust between the two of you. The inevitable option would be to save you of further emotional turmoil by ending the marriage or relationship. You’re too precious and unique to let someone else rubbish your life and self-esteem. You definitely deserve a better deal.

– Anthony Ogbetere

SUICIDE: THE WAY OUT?

By Jereaghogho Efeturi – Ukusare

At about 6PM on Sunday the 19th of March, 2017, when the news of suicide by Dr. Allwell Orji filtered into the ears of Nigerians and seen on social media, it all seemed like a huge joke or something was amiss in the story. By the next day, more details of this incongruous act filled the Nigerian air ways confirming the seemingly hitherto unprecedented act of Dr. Orji as real.

Shocking as this may be, it is not the first of its kind in Nigeria. In Africa, prior to this age, it was not uncommon to find a man of so much integrity in the society, kill himself so as not to face the shame of an ignoble act he or member(s) of his family have committed. However, as civilization entered into the Nigerian and African society, it was believed that such acts were things of the past in Africa and could never reoccur. Regardless of the fact that this has been happening occasionally in our society ever since the pre- civilization era, the action of Dr. Orji seemed to break the myth that “African man no dey commit suicide”.

Since Sunday the 19th of March 2017, Nigerians have been asking questions as to what could have led a medical doctor, 35, with a chauffeur and a nice car to such a heinous act. Nigerians wondered, could it be a case of enormous responsibilities? Could it be that someone dear to him died? Could it be that he got the news of being infected by a terminal ailment from a patient? Could it be that his home is in disarray and could not take it anymore? Could it be that he lost a business deal into which he had invested so much or maybe even lost his entire life’s savings? Questions reeled in from the nooks and crannies of the Nigerian society to where the news had reached. With all of these questions, one thing remains unchanged, while the other is in present continuous: Dr. Allwell Orji committed suicide – apparently Allwell was not all well – and the other, we are still searching for the reason (s).

May we not look too far as to miss the lessons of this suicide committed by Dr. Orji which is a manifestation and a representation of the Nigerian society as it stands today. Pre civilised Nigeria had Nigerians kill themselves to preserve their integrity and pride, while modern Nigeria has Nigerians killing themselves as a result of hopelessness. Why should we be hopeless in our homeland? Dr. Allwell Orji, who represents many other unknown Nigerians facing similar issues was a medical doctor, aged 35, had no wife, no child, was sickle celled, was discriminated against, was not making the kind of living he was supposed to be making if he had his specialization since graduation in 2008. He tried to specialise in an area of surgery but was unsuccessful, tried pediatrics, he failed and finally family medicine in which he was also unsuccessful. He confirmed the news of his failed attempt on the day of the suicide. Today, the bereaved family is in grief and the society is asking questions and making suggestions.

A combination of factors led to this. Some of these factors were internal or personal while the others, external or societal. While I leave the internal and external influences to psychologists and sociologists, these factors whatever they are subject to the individual even as the psychologists would tell you. Everyone has the power of choice, hence we make choices. Making choices is essential to our existence and we all do this in our daily lives. Nothing is wrong with making choices. What is considered wrong is making wrong choices without realising it – early or late- even unto death.

The choice of taking one’s own life is the height of depravity and an ignoble act. It means you care less about the people who care about you. It means you think of yourself only and this is known as selfishness and it also means you see yourself as useless and hated. Of course, we know that no one person is useless, and no matter how despised you are in the society, your mother will still love you. So, thinking of suicide is a psychotic situation that requires psychoanalysis and a recommended psychotherapy.

Suicide is not an end. It is a means to immortality where the forces of good and evil fiercely war against each other. It is not an easier place to be especially when you find yourself on the side of the evil forces – which would happen when you commit suicide. In fact, suicide is a self hastened beginning of a whole new unfamiliar war. Which do you prefer, the familiar or the unfamiliar? What then is the need to crossover to the other side through suicide?

Man makes the society and the society makes man. If there are professional sociologists and psychologists paid by the government of Nigeria and are easily accessible, things like this would be greatly minimised in the society. The Nigerian society needs to be redesigned in a way such that it takes care of its citizens. From counseling to welfare programmes for the citizens, the Nigerian government – Federal, State and Local – have to wake up to their responsibilities. A society that promotes capitalism still caters for the weak by providing essential support and services to cushion the effects of the capitalist economy on the people, needless to talk about a mixed economy as Nigeria’s.

Welfare of the citizens is one of the major functions of the government of any country. However, in Nigeria, this is lacking. A few people prefer to be happy with the wealth of the Nation while keeping the rest of the entire country in a state of perpetual disenchantment. This in my view is another sad song.

Jereaghogho

Jereaghogho Efeturi – Ukusare is  the Publisher & Editor In Chief, St. Hilary’s Magazine and an Entrepreneurship Training Facilitator.

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